Yesterday in the "Deccan Herald" supplement I came across this feature of PDA (Public Display of Affection) by the today's generation. There were views supporting and opposing it and as I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion but somewhere I felt that the topic for discussion itself is outdated. Today we live in an age where everyone is open, forthright and had come out of the social barriers in being themselves. Atleast this generation is very open in expressing themselves, their affection and opinions. So I believe that discussing about PDA's at this generation is a passe'.
I remember the conversation I had with LMS last week. We were travelling on two wheeler to Gangaikonda Cholapuram and I was on the pavilion. LMS had put on weight these years and is now having a sizeable belly. I used to put hands around the driver if he is my close friend. So I did the same with LMS.
I told LMS "Please reduce your belly. I find it but difficult. Leave me out, it is going to be difficult for your wife".
"Why should wife put hands around my belly? See there is a holder below the seat"
"C'mon da! It will be more comfortable to put hands around you because it will give more support as they sit in a single direction unlike guys who sit with legs on both the sides"
"But I don't like doing so in public"
"Again c'mon. What is the wrong in putting hands around your belly for a better support? After all she is your wife and has more right than anybody else. She might also enjoy such things in a journey. Why deprive her of such pleasures?"
"So what? That doesn't mean you can get cosy on bike in public"
"God... that's not getting cosy. Even if it is getting cosy what is the problem?"
"What will others think?"
"Why should others think of your wife holding you or even getting cozy? Even if they see it in different manner let them enjoy the free show. Are you going to lose anything in this?"
The conversation went like this through out our journey. Infact I love such kind of trivial conversations mocking my friends' inhibitions. We went to Gangaikonda Cholapuram Temple. There I showed him the staute of Lord Shiva fondling Parvathi's breast.
"See! Even Lord Shiva is displaying His love for Parvathy in public. Then why you should hold your love just for the sake of others?"
"Err... But I am not comfortable in displaying the affection in public"
I can say that this PDA is a taboo only for those who hadn't got a partner/spouse or who tries to live for others. My arguement is that almost everybody knows how to express or make love with the people closer to their hearts. Else how could the otherwise "conservative" cultured India has population of more than a billion. So when they see others expressing their love in public, it should not matter. If somebody else is voyeuristic, say "ogling" the publicly held hands or hands around the shoulders, then why should we bother about such prying eyes? Either they must be having a failed love life or a sadistic pleasure in watching others. We can't help them.
Even after two years of marriage, most of the time I travel with Akila, I pull her hands signalling to wrap around my belly while travelling. Or I wantonly put break so that she bangs on me suddenly. These are small pleasures that make the travel / life happy. We get little time for us and these mischiefs make those moments memorable. Sometimes she used to say that so and so person is watching. I used to say that if that keeps him happy, I also am happy that I made somebody else happy. Our PDA is not restricted to spouses. I put hands around my mother in the market, I kiss Buttu in public. When these are not mattered why / how the spouse / partner PDA alone matters? I definitely would love to bring up Buttu teaching the pleasure & value of the 'touch', difference between good touch and bad touch. He must not feel intimidated about the physical display of affection.
Infact one photo I adore is the beautiful moment of the siblings Viggi & Vini in their arms. When I was in my previous office, it was in my workstation where I used to feel at peace while watching them. Ironically I was brought up that I must keep atleast a couple of feet away from the girls, even though it happens to be my sister. So I don't have such warm moments in my growing up days. Infact only after I started questioning the 'unreasonable' demands of the public and started being true to myself, I started enjoying life more than ever.
Not only with the spouse & parents, I can't keep my hands off from the friends I love who happen to be of my sex. While walking in streets, I keep holding their hands even in the bright light, I lean on them completely while travelling in two wheelers, I hug them tightly in public and I never bother about what if somebody think "what kind of relationship I share with these friends". I am just making much of the time I spend with them. I am displaying my affection and I don't want such pervert thinkings come in between myself and my friends. If I feel uncomfortable in holding hands in public, but get physically closer when none is around, that sounds fishy.
Well... people say that they find uncomfortable when the couples display their affection in public. I agree that I too get uncomfortable with lovers who sneak into the nook and corner of the parks or temples or in the monumental places. Reason is that I feel that there is more lust than love. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty like 'small town upbringing' or 'doesn't have the courage to make their love public' but somewhere I am not comfortable with those 'sneaky' display of love in public. When in love, be open else don't get behind the bushes.
{oshits} reads for this PDA article!!!
