{mosimage}I feel the daddies are the poorest souls in the world whose intentions are being misunderstood most of the times. I am not writing about my case alone but the general observations I have made from my friends and acquaintances. Once I asked my favourite kid friend Viggi, whom he likes most appa or amma. But he was smart to say "enakku amma pidikkum appa pidikkum". If I asked whom you like amma or appa, he'd say "enakku appa pidikkum amma pidikkum". Notice the order in question and answers, but it is an embarrassing question for everybody to choose between father or mother. But at the age of 12, if you ask a boy or girl, they'll answer that I am close to my mother / father. Further of this article is from the boys' point of view only, so girls can come up with their side of story.
I would say it is the conspiracy framed by the mothers that start since the small age to hold the boys on their own. It starts with "ஏங்க! இவன் சாப்பிடமாட்டேங்குறான்... கொஞ்சம் மிரட்டுங்க ", at that time only the manly courage awakens and "டேய்! சாப்பிடுறியா இல்லையா?"…. The kid is scared and when he actually beats the child, moms comes to rescue "ஐயோ வேண்டாங்க…. இந்த தடவை விட்டுடுங்க…இனிமேல் ஒழுங்கா சாப்பிடுவான்". Then it moves to "ஏங்க… அடங்க மாட்டேங்குறான்…கொஞ்சம் அதட்டி வைங்க"…. Once on confrontation the same interference continues "ஏங்க சின்ன குழந்தையை போட்டு இப்படி அடிக்கிறீங்க. நீங்க சின்ன வயசிலே என்னவெல்லாம் ஆட்டம் போட்டீங்களோ". After coming across certain incident the kid comes to an conclusion that "Appa is a creature that beats" and "Amma is the sweet soul that saves you from the clutches of Daddy".
As time goes, as usual the manly nature or ego or chauvinism, whatever name you call by, the daddy loves his kids, wife necessarily in that order, but couldn't express his love explicitly. Meanwhile amma's continue their magic spell. Appa's continue to provide the financial supports while amma's are generous in "Distributing" them. But the boys' don’t realise it till they earn. Mothers enjoy their clout of being a demi-goddess. Little do the boys turned guys realise that it is due to their father's strict and disciplinary brought up that helped them in laying a foundation for a good life. They finish college, romance a girl and finally settle in a job and once they start remitting money home they realise the hardwork and sincerity the fathers had put in raising a family. Slowly the fathers are seen in a new light. Previously any advice comes from the father is a boaring stuff that precedes the parting of pocket money, but now the same words are understood as wisdom. A polite "Saringappa…" is an answer now.
The things get still more emotional when the guy becomes a father. Now he realises the situation and empathises with his father. This is the time he wants to say "Daddy, I love you.." but once again that manly ego and chauvinism comes in. He too couldn’t explicitly say it… the scene continues. Again that doesn't mean that the father-son relationships turn rosy after that. Still the teething problem crop up but this time it is majorly due to generation gap. It is the age and mentality that plays tyranny this time but whenever he refers his father to his friends and others he doesn't let him down. "My father was this… that…." But once he enters the home, the argument continues.
I love my father, I remember how much he cared for me, how much he pampered me, yet we have our share of fights and heated arguments. I respect him and wont let him down in front of others irrespective of the differences, yet I don’t have this guts or **** to say "Appa, I love you". So I must be prepared to expect the same thing from my boy too.
But some people differ in their opinions. They say fathers are affectionate to the daughters while mothers are to sons, this is due to gender attraction. I admit this is true, because I wish I must have a girl kid as my first child. But that doesn’t necessarily pull down the weightage of the boys.
