As I always believe, relationship is strictly direct between two individuals ONLY and should not be influenced by how one of the protagonist reacts with a third person. Not what we see turns to be the true thing always. Many a times we might just see a floating object and mistake it for the tip of an iceberg. For past few months and a couple of years I am always ending in this problem. Somebody forms an opinion about me by observing the way I react with certain individuals. When I approach them directly, they seem to be prejudiced over what they had seen. I have got some incidents of heart breaks and find it hard to prove that I am far removed from their opinion. There was one Mr. R in the Coimbatore office I worked. Everyone used to say that he always shouts at everybody and so when I speak with him I used to prepared for a verbal assault.
But when I saw Ambika getting along with him fine, I was pleasantly shocked. One day she was enquiring him about his daughter's health and I felt bad that why I didn't ever try to approach him as a human? It is a general human tendency and I don't blame anybody for this. In my early years I also followed the same pattern of forming relationships. But years later I realised that we must approach a person with an open heart. I realised some of my friends who were branded shrewd and cunning to be straight forward and blunt. Somebody might be giving cold shoulders to everybody but surprisingly be too nice to me. Similiarly I find somebody nice to someone but rude to me for reasons unknown. Atlast I have arrived to a junction of life where people fall in just two categories - people I am comfortable with / uncomfortable with, instead of labelling as bad and good. Who am I to label somebody Good or Bad?
Another thing I had problem with elders in our home is washing the dirty linen in public. Admitted everybody has unqiue opinions, different in approaches, thats why we call human beings as "individuals". On things we don't see an eye to eye, we must sit down, discuss and choose the middle path. But complaining about the partners to others, even though happen to be relatives, doesn't create a good image. We might fight within four walls but we will get along after sometime. But taking this matter to third person is not only like creating a record but also degrading yourselves. You fall short in front of others' eyes. Thats the reason I discourage people gossipping with me and avoid myself whining to others. Sometimes there might be a genuine case of our intervention or a hearing, but I try to avoid bitching. Many times it had got me an image of snob and poor communicator, which hurts and pains somewhere, especially the person whom you adore buys that opinion.
The problem is once you listen to one side of the story only, chances are that you might be biased againsed the other party in turn affecting your relationship with him/her forever. It is really tough to be neutral if you are very close to the person and in due process you fail to listen the other side of story. All I want to express in this blog is "Please don't form opinions based on what you see, but see closer for yourself".
Another thing I had problem with elders in our home is washing the dirty linen in public. Admitted everybody has unqiue opinions, different in approaches, thats why we call human beings as "individuals". On things we don't see an eye to eye, we must sit down, discuss and choose the middle path. But complaining about the partners to others, even though happen to be relatives, doesn't create a good image. We might fight within four walls but we will get along after sometime. But taking this matter to third person is not only like creating a record but also degrading yourselves. You fall short in front of others' eyes. Thats the reason I discourage people gossipping with me and avoid myself whining to others. Sometimes there might be a genuine case of our intervention or a hearing, but I try to avoid bitching. Many times it had got me an image of snob and poor communicator, which hurts and pains somewhere, especially the person whom you adore buys that opinion.
The problem is once you listen to one side of the story only, chances are that you might be biased againsed the other party in turn affecting your relationship with him/her forever. It is really tough to be neutral if you are very close to the person and in due process you fail to listen the other side of story. All I want to express in this blog is "Please don't form opinions based on what you see, but see closer for yourself".
