Being someone interested in relationships and psychology, this is one that caught my attention last week. What puts off the partners in a relationship? No relationships is perfect and whomever claims that theirs is flawless, is definitely faking it. And no relation fails on a day. The partners are put off in some ways, slowly the pressure builds up and finally it explodes in a day. When finally the relationship is over and people look back, the reason of the initial hatred will be very hazy. That's when people will start saying that the relationship broke on flimsy grounds.
I don't want to get into serious problems like extra marital affairs or financial regions, that break a relationship but the small things that we overlook which later turns out to be the relationship breaker. I am listing 5 qualities in the order which I feel as important in a relationship and lack of which might lead to break up.
1. Lazy
2. Lack Self confidence
3. Stubborn
4. Too needy
5. No sense of humour
Laziness - In this world people come in relationship so that they can walk together towards the life's goal and in the process complimenting each other making others a better person. But when the partner is lazy to take responsibilities and only one partner has to carry all the burdens in their shoulder, then over a period of time the carrying shoulders will find it better to walk alone carrying the burdens / responsibilities of their own. So obviously the "heel cooling partner" will find themself in a breaking relationship. Unless the partners shrug off their laziness, the relationship is difficult to survive.
Lack of self confidence - In every relationships, the partners have to play multiple roles at various point of time. Sometimes we have to be protective, sometimes we have to mentor, sometimes we look for a sensible advisor and sometimes we expect the partner to take the lead. But when the partner doesn't have a self confidence, how can we look up to them? Instead we start looking down at them which leads to indifference and subsequently breaking the relationship.
Stubborn - Everybody has their own convictions and tend to stick to that. It could be a simple venue selection for dinner or some major decision in life. But we should also realise that we need not be right all the time and our convictions might be a result of misjudgement. Then we should keep our ego aside, accept that we had made a mistake and amend for that. But if the partners are stubborn on their stand, then the relationship is surely to break.
Too needy - Everybody lives their lives, have their own space and activities and the partners being needy has its own consequences. Neediness stems out of approval seeking, attention seeking, which itself shakes the foundation of trust. So over a period of time, this creates an irritation leading to relationship breakup.
No sense of humour - None of us are politically correct in a relationship. Also we are comfortable with a partner with whom we can let our hair down shedding all the inhibitions of being politically correct. When the partner perceives the funny banters are offensive, there comes in the cautiousness of what to say and what to not thus affecting the communication a lot. Where there is no / less communication, the relationship is bound to break.. simple.
