{mosimage}The pressure is on.. Since I have lot of unfulfilled dreams like learning Tanjore painting, work outs in a gym, learning carnatic music and associating with an NGO / Non-Profit Organisation etc., I decided to make it possible now in my Chennai stint. After seeing 'Mozhi' I am fascinated by the sign language, so I added that also in the list. I have got 2 day leave on weekends, so if I could manage my time, I am sure I could make something possible out of these. My 'anni' happened to see my "Google" search for these and I told her about my intention to join some NGO, so that I could do something useful at weekends. Thats it... she mistook that I am choosing social service just to dodge the marriage. Then came a l...ong advice session about marriage, life status and social service. What bugs me is that people mistake social services to under privileged people as altruistic / ascetic. I think this is the basic reason why most of the people shy away from social work.

{mosimage}Last week when cleaning the kitchen I came across lot of polythene bags, which we got while buying vegetables and groceries. (Hey guys, in Chennai also I saw Al Kabeer frozen parathas and chapathis, the vegetable sections of Spencers Daily and Reliance Fresh are very much like what we had seen in Lulu and EGM. Ofcourse the prices are also like as in UAE). We normally don't throw the bags hoping that it can be used for other purposes like "wrapping the tiffin box" and "gathering the garbage", but the problem was the supply exceeded the demand that the loft of the kitchen was literally filled with polythene bags. Throwing them led to the 'cleaning' mode that I sat down to throw the unwanted papers and things, whatever little I had. I remembered the fights and arguements that came as a part of parcel every time I 'clean' the house.

{mosimage}Nothing succeeds like a success - this is not a glamorous fad, but there is every inch of truth in it. When success comes it brings a whole set of attitude changes along with it and same can be said when it eludes you. It just saps all of your energy making you feel an all time low. At this moment I can definitely feel the changes associated with success and sunshine, as I am feeling an all time low in my professional front. Since nobody can be blamed at this moment, I am just waiting for the right tide. No! I am not romanticising this period of ebb, but striving to float without my morale sinking. It is really a tough time to keep answering the questions of my friends - "What happened to your job front?". Even though I am thankful to all those concerns showered over me, every time that question arises it just takes away something from me leaving myself all energy sapped. Thats the reason I am completely cutting off from the friends and acquaintances, till I can have the answer for their question. I am not depressed when I am alone, but when some guests / phone calls from friends drop in, I get jitters. Previously I couldn't identify with the similar situation, so I had preached my friends "Do this.. Do that..", now I feel them as I am in their shoes right now. Like Ambika once wrote me "This phase will pass by.." and I am just waiting for that.

{mosimage}Last week when I went to Bangalore, I happened to see a Tamil auto rickshaw driver, banging on the doors of the small roadside temple, with tears rolling on his cheeks, crying and talking loudly to God something that went like this "Why did you do this to me? Are you going to shut their mouths from commenting, if so how many people you can do it...". A sight that disturbed and disturbs me a lot even today. Poor soul, don't know how grave was his problem that he was made to "talk" to God. I sincerely pray that God solve his problems as soon as possible. How many people have this "courage" to shed tears? I remembered the post of my mama, which went like this "... I want to cry but as I am a man, I couldn't cry. I am crying through my writings because pen has no gender". We have stigma attached with tears when it comes to men. Any living being of all sex and sizes, who have emotions and feelings are bound to shed tears, but the men society is deprived of the privileges and comforts that come with tears.

{mosimage}Infact I wanted to water down the words to describe about the mega serials in the TV, but couldn't. I don't mind if it sets a wrong reputation about me. All filthy words come fluently when I wanted to vent against the so called "entertaining" mega serials. I want to kill the bastard who stumbled upon the idea of daily soap. I want to torture those 'mother f*****s' in public who script these mega serials. I really want to throw the idiot box out of my home fearing for these mega serials. But I am really helpless and incapable, thats why I am venting out my angst in the form of this blog. It is really sad to see the family bonds eroding and minds corrupted through these slow poison fed to the minds of ladies and even men these days.

{mosimage}India had always been a fantasy for the West, famous for its culture, wealth, fine arts and attracted the scholars & traders all over the world. Yuan Chuang visited Nalanda for knowledge, Mohammed Ghajini invaded India 17 times to loot its wealth, Columbus was raring to discover & reach India, but landed on America. After getting eclipsed for past few centuries under the British rule, we are at the right track. After 60 years of Independence, we are now attracting the west but in terms of trade (large market size) and knowledge (software, BPO). In this occasion let us hope that we regain our lost glory by becoming a formidable super power in coming years..

{mosimage}One of my best friend in Chennai asked me to give a parcel to her sister in UAE, when I went to India on vacation. I met "Chechi" one Thursday evening and gave the parcel. We (I, Chechi, her husband) chatted for long and I was playing with their kids for sometime. I felt at home in this part of the world after a long time. Chechi asked me to drop often whenever possible. I was touched. After a month when Chechi called, I said that since she said that it was boring just being locked at home,I had collected some VCDs for her and would like to give it and I need a home made food as I hadn't got any of friends with family here. That Thursday also came, I forgot this and went with my friends for some electronic goods purchase. When I came back and saw the mobile phone, I saw around 7-8 missed calls from the Chechi's number. I was scared and called her back to enquire had something bad happened.

{mosimage}At last Surya has finally opened his mouth to accept the love between him and actress Jyothika. Infact this is one of the hot topics of discussion among all the layers of people - tea shop to software companies in Tamilnadu. Will they or not? They make a beautiful pair and no wonder every movie goer wanted them to settle together in a marriage bliss. Their growth in career was almost parallel. They both made their debut in "Poovellam Kettu Paar" (Ask the flowers...), both managed to steal the audience's heart with their innocent smile. Both have clean history and a proven track record. To be honest when Surya came open about their affair putting end to all speculations, I really felt happy as if two of my friends are getting married. Infact most of the Tamil families treat Surya's love with Jyothika as their family affair. Actor Sivakumar's, Surya's father, resistance to this affair, kept every fan's heartbeat go faster. Surya replicated his first movie in real life too. i.e not to elope but wait and marry with the parent's consent only. That's how he managed to win the family audience's wishes and blessings. My heartiest wishes to Surya & Jyothika for a succesful marriage life.

{mosimage}Last week there was a gala ceremony at Dubai named IIFA Awards - Intrernational Indian Film Academy Awards function. Even though this is the seventh year of IIFA awards, this is the first time South Indian movies have been added to the section, that too in the non competitive section. Which means the South Indian movies weren't taken into consideration for competition category but mere exhibition category. On the awards function Mamooty, the malayalam superstar, in his speech came strongly on those awards. He had said that it should have been right named as "International Hindi Film Awards" as Indian movies are beyond the Bollywood with exceptionally good movies being made it South.