Right People

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There goes an adage - Something is better than nothing. But when it comes to be with people I feel that if you don't get right people - "Nothing is better than something negative". If I paraphrase it, then it will read like this - It is better to be alone rather than being with people who are cynical or add no value to my life". Probably this finicky nature had left me with only a handful of friends all over my life. I am not complaining but happy that I am choosing people whose presence I need in my life forever.

I normally avoid the bachelor party from office team members because there are so much of negative energy in form of talking ill about the project, manager and team member in the name of "pulling legs". As long as these conversations are not taken seriously it is fine, but the fact is that the human brain starts believing these "funny banters" after some time. It is like when a set of people inquire the health of a normal person repeatedly and in few minutes, the normal person starts believing that he is sick which is evident for other people. That's the reason I started practising the habit of speaking only the right things else be silent. Even though people say that this habit limits your communication abilities, I feel that people tend to take your words seriously when you say ONLY the right things. Ofcourse you can let down your hair with people who are closer to you and understand the words by the context you meant.

We, the humans are social animal and we can't exist in vacuum. So we should be clear about the company we keep. We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

Having friends with different attitude can give you different perspective of the same issue. But their attitude should not be affecting you negatively. Instead they should positively "effect" you. Last week an incident happened at home.. My son Aadhithya recorded an advertisement for "his summer class" by himself after hearing the audio clip of his aunty which she recorded for advertising her computer center". Also Aadhi had started drawing at such young age ever since he observed me drawing / painting. Whatever I learnt at the age of 29~30, he learnt at the age of 4-5 because of the people around him. Same logic applies for our thoughts and attitude too.

Being with people who can inspire you, who believe in your capabilities and keep you up always, is always rewarding. The reward is in the form of your improved personality and becoming a better human. When you have the confident feeling that someone is there to lend shoulders if you want a moral support, that confidence itself will guide you towards doing the right things. No matter how much good you are, if you are stuck with people who are mediocre / mundane then eventually you will drop down to their intellect levels or you'll end up being frustrated in life always. I can't afford the later scenario and I would rather be alone with my positive friends even though "virtually" than feeling trapped with wrong people. Cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

I feel attracted to those kind of people who I feel will add value to my life. Once when we were discussing this topic in a get together, someone pointed that only people with low self esteem look for other people for inspiration / adding value. I didn't agree with this interpretation but my version was that the people with low self esteem look others' approval / recognition but people with high self esteem still look upto others for becoming a better person day by day. Yes, I had undergone a phase in my life when I was constantly looking for other's approval. Nowadays I stopped caring for the office appraisals too.