Distance and RelationshipsFebruary 9, 2008. I never expected that this day could bring a series of meeting 'long lost' friends. Also there were some interesting observations, that passage of time seldom brings changes in the friendships. I met with Mohanasundaram who was my close friend, for whom I had an obsession when I was in Engineering College. That same evening I caught up with Gurumoorthy, who was my close friend in my Masters - a planned event. One week back I saw Preetha who had finally moved to Chennai after a globe trotting. I, Preetha, Guru were the known trio of our batch in PSGIM, Coimbatore. The occassion was the marriage of Guru's sister's marriage, who was also like an extended family to me and Preetha. I missed Guru's marriage itself, so I didn't want to miss this marriage.


When I met with Guru, it was like the extension of our college days. We were unable to stay in touch because of our professional compulsions and lack of time. So the reconnection was on the jovial, friendship note. Even the lingo and the subjects we spoke were just like the college guys chatting. After seeing him the inhibitions and apprehensions that I had about marriage, 'curbs' that it brings to your boyishness have diminished completely. Infact I was sounding like an agony uncle to him and he being like a college guy. Now I have enough reasons to believe that I can be myself after a marriage.

Similarly the marriage hadn't brought any change with our friendship between me and Preetha. We again reconnected without any formalities / restrictions like "the way a married lady had to be addressed". Again the topics were light and revolved a lot around our friends and our present day lives. The passage of seven years time since our graduation hadn't brought any effects on our relationships. Infact it seems to be a long term relationship that can go to family levels if we put little efforts here on.

Whereas the meeting with Mohanasundaram was something I wish that could have been different. We parted on a bitter note in 1999. Even after years, when I met him there was a conspicuous effort that sour note should not spill again. We spoke pondering & calculating each word, avoiding any words/topics/individuals that could bring potential problems. May be this relationship needs to be worked harder & further to eliminate that bitterness. How much it will be successful depends on the protagonists.

At this juncture I remember my long standing love relationship with Radhakrishnan & family - Viggi, Vini. Radhakrishnan moved in to our home as a bachelor tenant when I was in +1, eventually married Lalitha akka and produced Viggi. I fell in love with Viggi since the day he came to our home. He literally grew along with me. When Viggi was 3 yrs old, RK moved to Muscat, so his family moved to their native near Nagarcoil. On the day they are vacating the house I wept uncontrollably hugging Viggi, who couldn't understand what was happening to him, as if I am not going to see him anymore.

Those days there were no emails & telephones were in rare. I kept writing letters regularly, got the kid's photos from Lalitha Akka, meanwhile another kid Vini had arrived. When I saw Vini for the first time, all she spoke to me first was "I was waiting for you since morning", keeping both her hands in the hips, just like an agony aunt. I was touched. Something lovely coming from a kid whom I had never seen before. By this time telephone had come, we stayed in touch.

I happened to have a blast with Viggi and Vini in Dubai. I never expected that sometimes I will be rocking with Viggi is some part of world. Now Viggi is in his adoloscent period. But still he is my small kid and my heart can't see beyond that.Still he and Vinni addresses me as Mahesh Anna, something that melts me with very hearing itself.

Based on these experiences I conclude that the distances doesn't matter in the friendships that have a strong foundation. Whenever you meet in person, you tend to reconnect with where you left in the last meeting. Whereas the relationships that are distanced in the hearts will take a long time to get into a normal conversation (sometimes won't). All I love to is build such relationships that have a strong undercurrent of love and faith, which cannot be tested with the passage of time.

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About myself
Author: MaheshwaranWebsite:
I am a SAP Consultant in my late 30s, residing in the happeing IT City - Bangalore. My interests vary from reading to travelling to handicrafts to photography. My latest interest is on Body building. May be this vivid interest keeps me going in my life without getting bored.