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I am writing these things based on the real characters that exist in my circle. For example I can cite my cousin's son, who I used to admire that he is extra brilliant. One day while we were talking on my brother's home, something on Star Movies was going on. There came a smooching scene we most of us didn't even notice. Accidentaly I turned and saw it and observed what the kid was doing. It quitely looked around whether any of us is noticing him and when knew on being noticed, it immediately switched channel. If it had been done it in 10-12 years I would have enjoyed it, but it did these things when it was at only 5.
{mosimage}Another brother's kid used to compute decimal multiplication and square roots, what we learnt in our 8th standard, when it was just 6 years through UCMAS. Believe me, really it didn't fascinate me. Infact I wondered if the kids learn all these things much ahead what they'll do at later age. I want to give this example from a well educated family. There was a girl from a doctor's family, who was very brilliant. Her language was terrific that even sometimes graduates too won't have that kind of vocabulary. She used to read only English novels and watch only English movies. Everybody thought that she would do SAT and go abroad. Sometimes back when I heard this thing through a reliable source I was perplexed. She had sex with her tution master when she was at only 9th std. What shocked me was that it was not a rape, a mutual agreed intercourse. I am still surprised how she sent / interpretted the non verbal signals and f***ed by him. Why go so personal, what about the celebrated India's first MMS scandal of a 10th std girl giving oral sex to her boyfriend? Both of them were from defense families which are supposed to be most disciplined.
I don't mean to say that if a kid is well educated it always ends up straying. Most of our scientists learnt english only from their 6th standard, but that didn't deter them in achieving or building an ISRO. Many of us who are doing well in technical had their grounding in their regional language. I think the problem lies in the domain where we confuse language with knowledge. My cousin whose kid is in the subject used to "advise" me to watch English channels to develop my "knowledge". I couldn't stop controlling my laughter when he said this. May be he wanted his kid to develop his "knowledge" by watching English channels, it had lost its innocence at much earlier age. Reading English novels is a symbol of esteem, but the contents are of an alien culture replete with sex, violence and treachery. Same goes for English movies. Let the kids read and watch what they should, not something that is suitable for adults.
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I still say innocence and ignorance are two different things that should not be mixed or confused. You can be well informed yet retain the innocence of that age. We are all to be blamed for that, especially the homemakers who think Cartoon Network is the simplest solution to make their children eat and sleep. Cartoon Network not only has all the wrong things in life but also imparts them to the younger minds. We could see Mickey flirting & smooching with Minney, Bravo & Popeye teaching physical violence. Even though it doesn't teach the kids anything directly it slowly erodes the innocence. Obviously the kids draw references when they see similiar scenes in advt or music videos. It grows with the message that flirting and casual sex are symbols of masculinity or affirmation of feminity.
In a way we are to be held for this detriorating cutrual trend. I had seen many parents seeing vulgar music videos and C grade skin flicks along with their kids in their living room. Many parents buy minis and off shoulder dresses for their girls making it a common thing. Then how can you expect the girl to suddenly keep away those kind of provoking dresses? You can see the girls in shopping with revealing dresses sometimes accompanied by their parents themselves. Somewhere we encourage a wrong unknowingly and get caught in a cultural clash all of a sudden. If the situation continues, then we have to accept what Khusboo had said and created a controversy.
{mosimage}Previously before TV became a part of our life, we had enough time to spend with & speak with our kids and tell bedtime tales. Our grandparents used to say all mythological stories that imparted faith in God and fear of doing wrong. There was a seperate market for children's books, which not only a marked healthy trend of reading with simple moral stories, but also other activities like painting, crossword & handicrafts. It is sad that this market has diminished now. Now mothers & maids put Cartoon network and make children sit before TV and carry on their work without disturbances. My friend said that she is worried when her kid blackmails that he'll eat only if Cartoon is on. I had seen it in many homes as routine. We get them addicted for our convenience and later suffer by it.
Another trend I had noticed is comparing the children with the neighbours' kids and creating a rivalry among the young minds. If the neighbours' kid is going for painting class and Karate class, then send your kid for Painting, Karate and additionally in Abacus. Poor kid not only finds its playtime robbed, but also undergoes the stress of constantly being compared leading to either rivalry or low esteem. Kids can be put in extra curricular classes but depending on their intrest. I joined Hindi class on my own when I was at 7th std and my father supported it. Neither did he force me to join anything extra nor did I compare myself with other boys.
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If you think this article says that kids should not be groomed, you are grossly mistaken. Do it and it is your duty, but more than that retaining their innocence at right proportions is still more important. Let your kid be and behave like one, not like an adult. Let your kid learn what should be learnt at that age. If you feel that your fourth standard kid should learn 7th standards' syllabus, risk is that your kid can easily be diverted to wrong path. Too much speed will upturn the vehicle, so slow down a bit. This probably is one of the reasons for increasing teen age pregnancies in UK which is posing as a big headache to UK society. Thats where original Indian culture stands. But current metro generation tries to ape west by reading, thinking and even dreaming in English, ultimately end up with casual sex and one night stands. The amount of porno MMS clips circulating itself is an evidence to this.
I have a couple of other examples to substantiate what I mean. My another cousin's daughter Meera grew up in Coimbatore as a normal kid unlike competitive Metro kids. It is too early to say whether will make it in medicine or Engg college, but she has the right amount of innocence. She is into GK, Painting and to much of my surprise she made a good photographer in my sister's wedding. She joined evening Volley Ball classes out of her own intrest only not that she was forced. She is definitely not ignorant, but speaks the way a normal innocent kid of 12 should do. I love talking a lot with her. Whether she makes as a scientist or not, she will surely make a nice human being, thats what ultimately counts for me. Her sister Uma even though only 8, loves to read and play with kids rather than sitting before Cartoon Network. She is another delight to watch. When seeing them I really feel sorry for the Metro kids who are deprived of their innocence.
{mosimage}Let me put in still more simple. All of you in my mailing list are doing well in your life now and we didn't grew up with Cartoon or Abacus classes. We had ample time and space to play with our friends, our parents had good time to spend with us. Our childhood was simple, not sophisticated as of today, yet didn't we become technical and made it good in life (Leave out professional hierachies)? Why can't we give the same to our kids? Let us subtly impart our kids that what is right & wrong, teach them to protect themselves from wrong touches, in short make them aware but not over grown. Overgrown kid is like over cooked food. Even though it fulfills the criteria of having cooked, it won't be a good experience to eat it. A proper cooked food is something that will offer you to bite and chew ultimately giving the pleasure of eating. Same is the kid with right amount of innocence becoming a delight to spend time & life with.
