Love - one word that mesmerises every living being... Even though many people claim that they are ruthless & those who actually are, once started experiencing the bliss of being loved, not necessarily the "marriageable" love but affection in any forms, get tamed to the extent of a following lamb. So everybody loves to be loved than loving.. a statement I am sure that won't be challenged. But... the hitch is that we all want to be loved by the people we actually love and any unsolictated love is unrequited or even acknowledged. When we don't get our love reciprocated by the people whom we love, it pains a lot whereas we don't even bother to reciprocate the love and affection showered on us by the people whom we actually are indifferent to. Sometimes we are bestowed with the wisdom or realising the pain of unrequited love only when our love is not acknowledged or returned. But most of the time we can't be objective in realising that our non acknowledgement is causing pain to somebody else.
As I used to say, when the heart wants it JUST WANTS, no reasons needed. I am writing a true incident that happened with one of my good friend. He is one of the bright student of our class, quite simple, calm and loveable. He had a crush on a girl who was living on a hostel next to his house. He even proposed to the girl but she turned him down for reasons best known to her. But whenever my friend had seen that girl with somebody else, he felt a pain in his heart, obviously. Once he had even asked her about that guy for which she replied "a friend". My friend was so sarcastic that he asked her "Just that?". When I visited his place around the same time quite accidentally, he vented out all his heartburns to me. Even though I falter in my own life, based on my own experiences and observations, most of the time I had been a good listener and a reasonable counsellor. I asked him "What was the need of this question - Just that? Anyway that girl means nothing in your life, so it is better to move on". He accepted the fact after much deliberation.
A couple of years later, I visited him again and this time he had a peculiar problem. By the normal social standards he had easily crossed the marriage age by a couple of years. He is the only son for his parents and they were very much worried about his single status. They asked me to talk to this guy and get what was going on his mind. On an opportune moment, I asked him what holds him from entering into the institution of a marriage. He had a different tale to tell this time. He was unhappy with the kind of girls his parents had seen till then. Many of them were not of his dream / definition - tall, fair and beautiful. Since this is a normal dilemma of any guy about to get married, I tried my best to make him understand that more than physical beauty, the character and the ability to get into the family as daughter matters. But... he opened up to the actual reason.
He had a crush on a childhood friend, who was the 'actual' example for his definition of a dream girl. She belonged to other religion and it seems my friend had proposed to her very much earlier during the college days, but she had refused then citing the religion as the reason. She got married to somebody else with a bitter marriage life, produced a baby and quickly got divorced also. Now my friend had taken a liking for her again and wants to marry that girl. But he was well aware that his parents won't accept this proposal and that's why he had been turning down all the alliances that had come on his way. I told him "It is really a commendable gesture to marry a girl from broken marriage, but the problem is she is not alone but having an issue (child) now. Will you be able to accept that child from her first marriage and be a responsible father for that kid also? Else that child will be hurt and can grow to be a not so normal individual." He revealed that he doesn't like that kid that much and is willing to accept the girl if she leaves the child in some hostel or with some relatives. Moreover that girl gets upset when he goes to see any girl (alliance) along with his parents, messing up things further. She neither wants him to be settled / move on nor she wants to give up her child to marry him. Again I tried my level best to make him understand that it is a very much complex situation entangled with various aspects like there are more seperations in this case - him from his parents, that child from its mother.
I had a really tough time facing his parents as I couldn't tell them that their son had get into a viscious web. It had been an year and I hadn't heard from my friend regarding his marriage - with anybody. My friend couldn't realise the love his parents have for him, nor let anybody as his wife to love him, but he is after somebody whom he very well knows that it was a bit complicated situation. He wants his love to be realised / reciprocated but he is indifferent to all the love showered on him. Even though I wish that people like him look themselves from a third person perspective once in a while to understand where things go wrong actually, I can't blame them completely because we won't be able to look ourselves objectively. Many a times I too know that I am not properly responding / reciprocating to the love & care showered on me by somebody, but I can do little on that aspect. I had experienced the pain of my love being unrequited as well as sometimes I too end up doing the same thing. To certain extent I am happy / lucky that I had received love / attention from some of the people whom I liked immensely, but all keeps me bit grounded for most of the time and the last blog on myself crying on an occassion is one of those rare cases.
{oshits} readers for this blog on loving to be loved...
A couple of years later, I visited him again and this time he had a peculiar problem. By the normal social standards he had easily crossed the marriage age by a couple of years. He is the only son for his parents and they were very much worried about his single status. They asked me to talk to this guy and get what was going on his mind. On an opportune moment, I asked him what holds him from entering into the institution of a marriage. He had a different tale to tell this time. He was unhappy with the kind of girls his parents had seen till then. Many of them were not of his dream / definition - tall, fair and beautiful. Since this is a normal dilemma of any guy about to get married, I tried my best to make him understand that more than physical beauty, the character and the ability to get into the family as daughter matters. But... he opened up to the actual reason.He had a crush on a childhood friend, who was the 'actual' example for his definition of a dream girl. She belonged to other religion and it seems my friend had proposed to her very much earlier during the college days, but she had refused then citing the religion as the reason. She got married to somebody else with a bitter marriage life, produced a baby and quickly got divorced also. Now my friend had taken a liking for her again and wants to marry that girl. But he was well aware that his parents won't accept this proposal and that's why he had been turning down all the alliances that had come on his way. I told him "It is really a commendable gesture to marry a girl from broken marriage, but the problem is she is not alone but having an issue (child) now. Will you be able to accept that child from her first marriage and be a responsible father for that kid also? Else that child will be hurt and can grow to be a not so normal individual." He revealed that he doesn't like that kid that much and is willing to accept the girl if she leaves the child in some hostel or with some relatives. Moreover that girl gets upset when he goes to see any girl (alliance) along with his parents, messing up things further. She neither wants him to be settled / move on nor she wants to give up her child to marry him. Again I tried my level best to make him understand that it is a very much complex situation entangled with various aspects like there are more seperations in this case - him from his parents, that child from its mother.
I had a really tough time facing his parents as I couldn't tell them that their son had get into a viscious web. It had been an year and I hadn't heard from my friend regarding his marriage - with anybody. My friend couldn't realise the love his parents have for him, nor let anybody as his wife to love him, but he is after somebody whom he very well knows that it was a bit complicated situation. He wants his love to be realised / reciprocated but he is indifferent to all the love showered on him. Even though I wish that people like him look themselves from a third person perspective once in a while to understand where things go wrong actually, I can't blame them completely because we won't be able to look ourselves objectively. Many a times I too know that I am not properly responding / reciprocating to the love & care showered on me by somebody, but I can do little on that aspect. I had experienced the pain of my love being unrequited as well as sometimes I too end up doing the same thing. To certain extent I am happy / lucky that I had received love / attention from some of the people whom I liked immensely, but all keeps me bit grounded for most of the time and the last blog on myself crying on an occassion is one of those rare cases.
{oshits} readers for this blog on loving to be loved...
