Sometimes back there was this discussion about an incident in my workplace. My friend said that I am getting emotionally attached and taking things personally in the office, which I am not supposed to do. He said that it is a thumb rule that you must not get personally attached during the working hours and with the colleagues. But my arguement was that only if you get personally bonded you will be able to give your best in the workplace. After all you spend your prime time of a day when your level of energy is at its high, with these people in the workplace, so obviously you tend to get personal.
The workplace is to sex as mold is to penicillin, and no management edict aimed at curbing this very basic human activity will ever succeed," observes a former human resources executive. The statement points out the "chemistry" in the workplace can never be undermined or avoided. Fortunately or unfortunately it is an all men office, so the risk of romance in the work place is ruled out. So the question now is "Can you be a friend to your boss?"
Why should a boss / sub-ordinate frienship be a problem? Brian DesRoches, author and management consultant, feels that these friendships are doomed from the get-go, observing: "Friend implies equal, and how can you really be friends with someone who has the power to hire and fire you?" If fortunately such bonds exist, how it will be perceived among the co-workers? Won't it be mistaken for "favours" based friendship? Above all do our status hierarchy allow the liberty of cross layer friendship
If you have a feeling of friendship with your superior will you be able to communicate it? If you muster courage to do so, what will be the reactions? What if you are not that much successful in your job or having a reputation that precedes you? Aren't you running the risk of being misunderstood of making up for your mistakes? If your boss is a believer of "first impression" then there is a higher risk of having a problematic work relationship. Many companies do encourage the camaraderie among the staffs, but when it comes to the cross hierarchial relationships, there is a bleak response. We can't blame anybody except our mindset about the status.
Sometimes it is your style that creates the havoc, not you as a person. A study in West about had some bizarre findings. One boss detested his subordinate very much just because she resembled the TV series character he hated the most. Another boss was having personal problems and couldn't keep up a good front at the office. A third found antagonism evaporated after a lunch where she decided to make a conscious effort to be charming. So if the vibes between your boss and you is frosty, first make sure that you are not the problem and later try to find out the source of their behaviours.
My strong opinion is that there must be a level of personal comfort in the workplace. Only when you are made to feel important, you will be enthused to perform more, give your best and a sense of ownness prevails. Same cadre friendship can never be a problem and is one of the most encouraged one. But cross hierarchy relationships is something that is very sensitive and unpredicatble. So be prepared for any consequences if you feel that the feelings are very strong. A word of advice - never let your feelings affect the work or relationship with other colleagues.
We must accept that there are some guidelines and framework to be followed in the workplace and we should do it. If you are sure that you are not the reason for the problem, I suggest you better be prepared to work elsewhere i.e in the different department or in new company. Life has to move on...
